Farewell Bill Kristol, Hello Sunshine

The New York Times finally fired their own personal Sean-Hannity-with-a-comb-over, Bill Kristol. And as I was looking back on all the glittering gems of wisdom this man turned out week after week, I had to wonder... how on earth could the NYT have been so short-sighted? Don't they know what they're throwing AWAY?

I mean, who couldn't love this toad-like face?


And how about all of that insight into things like putting the right in right-wing? Anyone? Eh?

So, to honor the departing starlet, I thought I'd share this excerpt from an utterly insightful piece about... well, I forget. Because it was overshadowed by this poisonous, random rant about MAYA ANGELOU.

I know why the caged turd sings, Bill. Because Harvard gave you a PhD. in self-righteous nonsense!

"Obama has selected Yale’s Elizabeth Alexander to compose and read a poem. I still remember watching Maya Angelou read “On the Pulse of Morning” at Bill Clinton’s inauguration in 1993 — and thinking that American culture really was in a state of irreversible decline, as she indulged in that multicultural cataloguing of “the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew, / The African and Native American, the Sioux, / The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek, / The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh, / The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher, / The privileged, the homeless, the teacher.”

I’ve looked at some of Alexander’s poetry, and am confident she’ll be a big improvement on Angelou. It makes me think our culture isn’t necessarily getting worse. It may even be getting better."
-12.28.08

Yes, Bill Kristol, things are getting better. Better indeed.

A Few of My Favorite Things (Part 1)

In an effort to update my blog more regularly (so that my aversion to newfangled technology isn't quite as obvious), I will give a weekly roundup of the things in life that make snow piles taller than me and below-freezing "highs" worth it.

This week, we have:

1) Novak Djokovic, "Nole," who beat Marcos Baghdatis this morning to proceed to the Quarterfinal of the Australian Open. What a Serbian fox.





2) Petsi Pies, a shop down the road from me that sells nothing but PIE. Savory, sweet, you name it. And for the swearing in of Barack Obama, they had inauguration day pies, filled with mixed berries and, I'm guessing, a little hope and a little change. Proceeds donated to Amnesty International

Have a "peace" of my pie


3) Thanks to the New York Times' excellent reporting, I have an exciting travel destination in mind for my next vacation. That's right--CRAPSTONE, England.


4) The Atlanta Hawks are currently #2 in the Southeast. Paul Pierce is scared.




5) On Thursday night, I got to meet Bob Herbert, who was interviewing Gwen Ifill about her new book at the JFK Library. While that basically amounted to me mumbling something ridiculous as I tremblingly shook his hand, it was encouraging to see how gracious and, well, non-frightened he was in the face of an overly enthusiastic fan. He mentioned the event here (though for some reason, our encounter was omitted... can't imagine why).

HERBERT ROCKS IT ON OUT!

Oscar Picks

In lieu of anything better to do, I have decided to share my selections for that illustrious golden naked Ken doll.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ENGLISH BULLDOG POSING AS BRAD PITT, as seen in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button":















BEST UNCREDITED CAMEO BY 80s MICHAEL JACKSON in an Indian fairytale directed by a Scottish zombie lover:

"Oldest Salim"


"Middle Salim"







And last, but not least, the award for MOST OVER-FREAKING-NOMINATED DIRECTOR of all time, for pete's sake: RON HOWARD (Frost/Nixon -- really?)


Sorry, Ope!

Let the Hollywood frenzy begin. Jai ho!

How to walk on the icy streets

On the Globe's website, they have a rather patronizing instructional cartoon about how to walk on the icy streets. Those "penguins," by the way, are actually Irish and Italian mobsters. We contend with those here, too.

Learn How to Walk Right, Ya Jerk

If only it was truly this simple...